Sometimes, explanations are simple enough!!!!

Many a time the world around is just interested in judging you for what you have done. None try to understand why you did what you did. The political scenario in India is such that there are only two factions. Rest don’t count anyway. So, every situation that happens has to be viewed in one of the two modes, pro or anti. If you happen to criticize something, then the anti guys are very happy with you and if you go the other way, then they raise their eyebrows at you. It is true Vice Versa also with the so called Bhakts J

BTW, I have realized that a Bhakt is someone who has immense faith in the capabilities of the deity whom they worship, so that’s not so bad after all. Even I am Bhakt of many Gods. I believe that while they may be the ones who gave me the problems, they are also the ones who give me  the solutionsJ So, perhaps the people who are called Bhakts are the ones who have immense faith and can see no wrong in what their idol does. At times, that is dangerous. Things just might get too complacent as you become too blind to the faults.

Unfortunately on the other side you have those for whom nothing is right. Whatever happens, whatever is done, they pick faults. In short, everything bad has to be worked out back to that one person in control. They have a problem acknowledging the good. It's ok, appreciation doesn't come easy after all. That is dangerous too. So, at best people like me, the true, middle class aam admi begin to think whether it is at all possible to remain objective and take a balanced view of things. To react or not to react is the question.  If you do, will it be taken in the right spirit or will you get hijacked by those who have hidden agendas? That is the problem statement that I am trying to solve.

A recent incident that got discussed widely on all media channels including the social media was about a certain someone who got invited to talk somewhere outside the country and speak the person did.(I won’t take names, as I am sure I cannot afford defamation cases and Ram Jethmalini ji’s services. I learn from other’s mistakes and I keep referring to an encyclopedia on thisJ) While a few branded that it was highly inappropriate of the person to have spoken ill on a foreign soil, a few others went overboard defending what was said. That got me thinking (Damn, that's where all the problems and the blogs take shape!!!). It's important to figure out why people do things. So,  my train of thoughts went in that direction. Every time I saw some post in favor of or against the session, my mind went searching for answers again. Finally I have come up with an answer. This is my theory, I may be right or wrong. The last I checked, India being a democratic country with the right to freedom of speech, I thought I should pen my thoughts. I am trying to prove that it is possible if you apply your brains to stay in the middle and not take the right or the left stands. (Maybe I should patent this :)) Alas, I am a minority in this country, right now.

I have concluded that what happened out there is perhaps  the daughter in law syndrome. Hell, what’s this ? Here is how it goes.

The daughter in law is always an outsider in the in-laws house. Unless you are very lucky, you get the standard Indian saas as shown in the saas bahu serials (except for the hefty makeup and dressing!!!). So, you get to hear things like “this is my house, my way” read “my way or no way”. You don’t give up so easily, after all izzat ka sawaal hain and hum kisi se kam nahin and all that. You go all out of your way to either try and please or counter. But pretty soon, you realize, that whatever you do, whichever approach you take, is simply not right or good enough. And whatever the mother in law does is always right and best. If it is not, look up that ‘boss is always right rule’ and things will fall in place. It is very much applicable here. So, at every instance, the daughter in law is picked at, made fun of, put down, hassled and troubled to the extent that she feels lost and starts feeling utterly useless. On top of that, experience counts for a lot. Cooking and house keeping and keeping scores is not the daughter in laws’s forte, she has a long way to go to match her mother in law’s skills and experience. So, when the mother in law publicly denounces her, people also see that it is true to an extent that she is incompetent.

Where does that now leave the daughter in law? All she can do is crib. But the one person to whom she can crib is not interested in listening, because even that person can see the chinks in her armor. More importantly, it just doesn’t pay to take sides against the mistress of the house. All that irritation and the unused vocabulary is boiling up inside, it has to come out somewhere, but where? At this time, she gets an invite from someone (another daughter in law) for a function. The mother in law of that house has already been acknowledged by one and all as a dictator, you know the kind whom they call daayan in our serials. I mean, everyone’s cribbing about her, not just her daughter in law. Not that, it’s affected her one bit, though. She firmly believes in the “kuch tho log kahenge” funda and doesn’t give a damn who says what. After all, she has the power and the only thing others can do is crib!!!

So, now our daughter in law feels that she is likely to get an ally in the other. You know, the kind where you can gang up and say, “Nahi chalegi, nahi chalegi” and all that. So she ensures to accept the invite, and make it to the place.  After small talk, as expected comes the question, so, how’s your marital life, hows your mother in law? And out comes the farrago (What’s the big deal about Mr. Tharoor’s tweet, see it was easy enough to use that word!!!!) of all that inexpressible feelings that were bottled up all this while and yes, it starts with intolerance!!! She was just waiting for someone to ask and it all just came out. Poocha tho bolna tho padegaaa hi naa, warna koi teek se na bolne detaa hain na sunte hainJ Ab tho apni khunnas nikaalke rakhengeJ See, when there is such a simple explanation, everyone went into a tizzy about what was said and why!!!!!!!

Disclaimer: I am trying hard to be apolitical and remain objective, and there is nothing in favor of or against any party or person here. It’s just my way of trying to analyze a situation and I hope I have proved my point. I am absolutely not responsible for any conclusions anyone draws on who the person is or who mother in law(s) are!!!! All that is left to your imagination and your imagination is your responsibility fully, not mine. All I am saying is that it’s fully possible to find satisfactory explanations if you care to look for them.